The Frozen Deeps by Mackinley Clevinger, April 10, 2016
It’s going to be okay. Just breathe in… hold… and release. In… and out… You know you can do this; you’ve pretty much done it dozens of times before. The only difference now is… don’t think about it. Just… breathe in… breathe out… You are calm, and you are going to do this. You have to do this. You are prepared, you are competent, and you are capable of doing this without dy-… without issue.
She crouched on the edge of the vessel, hands gripping the yellow railing that ran all around the deck as she looked into the gently rolling waves dotted with floating chunks of ice as large as her fist. It was midday, but felt timeless to the crew assembled there; a grey sky that had hidden the sun for weeks had been replaced by a thick fog, turning their world into nothing more than the ship and a hundred feet of freezing dark-green water, only interrupted by the occasional white mass of ice that either fell off the ship or drifted towards them from the unknown world behind the fog.
Her breath misted in the air, nose and cheeks red from the cold that slowly set into your bones. She could feel it in her hands, the chill embedded in the rails seeping through her thick woolen mittens. She was dressed in layers just as the rest of the crew, their only defense against the elements when performing duties that brought them out into the frigid world they found themselves in.
You have to do this; there’s no use in waiting any longer. With a grimace, she let go of the railing and fell backwards onto the icy deck, beginning to remove the outermost layers she wore. The air was still, a few gentle flakes of snow dancing down from above to decorate the scene below. The men and women around her reached out to take the proffered garments, passing them along to return to the warm interior of the ship.
Her teeth chattered, and she began to rub her hands along her arms to stave off the chill. Members of the crowed around her stepped forward, silently placing a hand on her shoulder in support before walking away, returning to their duties, until there remained only a single person there besides the shivering woman.
As the crew left them, the woman’s shivering became more intense, no longer hiding the effect that the chill had on her before the eyes of her comrades. The captain stepped up to her, dressed in the same heavy garments worn by the crew save for the headpiece, wearing only a bandana that covered her forehead and ears as opposed to the heavier woolen hats.
It’s time. She breathed deeply, sucking in oxygen as the diving suit expanded and depressed with each breath. The captain removed a glove to put her bare hand on the woman’s shoulder, looking her in the eyes and nodding as she handed her a diving belt holding numerous metal spheres. Her body tensed up as she took it, already feeling a loss of feeling in the tips of her fingers as she tied it around her waist, securing it tightly.
She stepped to the edge of the deck, feet burning from the cold as they touched the frozen-metal flooring that hadn’t been warmed up from standing still for so long. She was alone but for the captain, watching her intently as she donned her glove again, waiting. She looked out into the fog, turning their world into a half-sphere they couldn’t escape between it and the frigid water below.
You have to look. She looked down, into the slowly rolling water with its bobbing shards of ice. She bent down on the edge, toes hanging off the deck and weight balanced between the large vessel and the infinitely larger ocean below. She rocked with the boat, maintaining her balance as she prepared herself for the task before her. Behind her, the captain stepped back from her, towards the rise of metal that led into the ship’s bridge, and leaned against it, prepared to wait for her return in person. Reaching to her belt, the woman donned a pair of goggles that covered her eyes and nose, pressing against a thing length of metal on the side that cast a beam of light ahead of her.
On three… the boat rolled, gently to her well-accustomed senses, and she rolled with it, moving back and forth as she continued to breathe deeply from her position on the edge. One… She rose, leaning against the angle of the boat to maintain balance. Two… She dropped, moving again to maintain her position. Three. As the boat rose, she let her weight fall forward in a natural motion, but against all instinct pushed herself further to fall from the deck into a dive, her hands extended before her as she plummeted towards the ocean below her.
The captain started from the wall, briefly, at the sight of her disappearance, but restored her composure as she stepped towards the edge of the vessel to lean against the railing and wait, watching the surface of the water for any signs of the woman who had disappeared mere moments before. All around the boat, others were similarly placed, ready to cry out and summon aid for returning the woman to warmth and safety after her task was finished.
She hit the water and sank, leaving barely a ripple or shock in the constant, calm rolling of the waves that lapped against the side of the vessel. The cold hammered into her as she was carried beneath the surface of the ocean, kicking her feet and pulling herself through the water with her hands as she sought a target far below her, diverting her attention away from the dwindling oxygen in her lungs by focusing on the task at hand.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. You just have to get down far enough to find it, and then you can leave. You have more than enough air, you’re going to be alright. Her efforts brought her further away from the vessel above her, its long oblong shadow left behind as she sank deeper into the cold abyss below. Her flashlight shone through the water uselessly, lighting up the water but revealing nothing to her as she cast her head around in search.
Should’ve dived nearer to the chain. Her lungs were emptying, she knew, but with her eyes wide and searching she dragged herself deeper, hands and feet long-numb while the skin behind the diving suit was only just beginning to be invaded by the cool. Her head twitched, eyes catching a sudden reflection from the beam cast by her flashlight. She angled her descent, moving towards the increasing mass of ice that glowed underneath the light.
She came to a stop, lashing her hands and feet against the water ahead of her as she floated before the massive length of ice in front of her. She looked to either side of her, the light revealing a seemingly infinite expanse of ice in either direction, but not showing her the location of her target. She looked up, hoping to catch sight of the vessel in hopes of it leading her, but the light only revealed the true depth of water that lay between her and another breathe of air.
Quelling the panic before it could start, she looked to either side of herself, knowing she had to make a choice. Where did it fall? She cast the light to the left of herself, the glow of ice extending a distance before disappearing, but whether it was from the light or the lack of ice she didn’t know. She looked to the right, aware that she was wasting time as her lungs began to feel the lack of fresh air, and saw a stronger glow of ice before her. If it curved towards her, then what she searched for wasn’t there, but if it continued further along, then it might still be there.
Choose. Now. With a fear of possible regret in the back of her head, she kicked herself to the right, following the length of ice that emanated an intense chill she could feel in the left side of her body, even through the diving suit. She had to turn her head away from the bright reflective glow of the iceberg, returning her gaze to the painful light every few seconds in her constant search, desperate to finish as her lungs began to burn.
A break in the constant glow sent her heart racing, kicking her legs and pulling with her arms quicker towards the non-reflective surface in the middle of all the ice. She swam into the intense cold of the water near the iceberg, the diving suit’s mitigation of the cold dwindling as the frigid chill invaded every inch of her body, flashing in a cold burn before turning numb as her hands and feet had long ago, but the pain was ignored as she drew closer to her target.
Lying in the ice was an anchor, embedded and trapped far beneath the surface of the ocean where the vessel still floated, gently, held in place by the chain that tied it to this mass of metal. She could feel the cold as a physical presence as she came up to it, close enough to touch the metal softly sheened in a layer of ice. Her heart thudded, both in excitement for reaching the end of her escapade and in desperate need for a breath of fresh air.
Reaching towards her belt, she drew out the metal spheres and affixed them to the area where the anchor was trapped to the ice, ensuring each was securely placed before turning a dial on the belt, muted red lights flashing in the deep dark far below the ocean’s surface as she hurriedly swam through the water, desperate to escape the flashing lights and the cloying dark she had spent far too long in. A cough escaped her lips, body bucking as her throat grew desperate to take a breath in its ignorance of where she was.
Behind her, a muted blast swam through the water, carrying her softly away from where the anchor had rested. Above her, the chain drifted from where it had been taut against the water, the crew passing the world along and letting out a breath of relief as each member heard the news, the captain only nodding as her eyes remained locked on the space of ocean where the woman had dived. No one spoke another word, still maintaining their own posts over the water’s surface with a prayer in their hearts as the anchor was drawn in.
They watched the ocean rise and fall, the peaceful rolling of waves in stark contrast to the pounding of their hearts as the woman failed to appear before them. The only sound throughout the vessel was the rolling of the chain, the entire crew assembled along the railings, waiting desperately for her to appear and be brought onboard again, for the trembling in their hearts to end, but the only arrival from the murky below was the chain that continued to rise, long after they had thought it should’ve ended at the depth they’d thought it had been at.
Words broke out across the deck, soft murmurs and shaken heads passing along the men and women stationed across the vessel, stopping dead on either side at the captain as she kept her vigilant watch over the waters below. She turned away only once, when a man stepped away from the railing and turned to speak to her. She caught him before the air left his lungs, looking at him without expression or interest, before turning back to the rolling ocean below, the man returning to his post.
The quiet rise of the chain, barely interrupting the ocean’s surface, was suddenly broken by a splash as the anchor broke the waterline and was drawn up towards the vessel, coming to a solid rest against its side. The captain turned her head briefly at this, eyes resting on the waves before her as she listened intently, heart pounding a single time at what she had thought to be the break of the silence of their vigil.
She breathed in, holding the breath for a brief moment, and then released it, watching it mist up in front of her and disappear into the air. She bowed her head, and stepped away from the railing, hoping beyond hope to hear the woman splash up behind her, gasping for breath, but to no avail. The deck was silent but for her steps, the crew slowly moving from their stations to follow her towards the interior of the vessel to commiserate a lost soul.
A second splash echoed against the side of the boat, the shock of noise startling the crew as the captain raced to the side to see what had caused it. Floating atop of the rolling ocean surface, the woman in the diving suit lay, facedown, still bobbing from falling from the anchor that had drawn her body to the surface after it had succumbed to the fate of the deep ocean.
Moving with desperation, the captain led the crew in drawing her from the surface of the ocean, depositing her onto the deck as another ring forming around her. The captain rushed to her side and knelt, putting both hands together and pushing on her chest as seawater exploded out of her mouth with each pump.
Holding her nose, she blew air into her lungs as a man lay blankets over her, the captain switching between pumping her heart and breathing into her as she continually felt no pulse or natural-breath in the woman’s body. The sharp pop of a breaking rib scratched the ears of the crew, but the captain continued in her task, ignoring the cold and refusing to accept that the woman would die.
After breathing into her lungs after countless repetitions, she slapped the woman across the face, tears beginning to fall as she continued to pump for a heart that would no longer beat on its own. The crew stood, silent and watching as a sense of finality came over them. The captain slapped her again, crying her name as another rib broke under her efforts of revival.
Someone crouched beside the captain, holding a solid case emblazoned with a jagged and scratched lightning bolt. Nodding her head, the captain lifted the woman in her arms, blankets and all, and ran into the interior of the vessel, setting her down on a table in the warmer air as the other person opened the box and handed the captain the defibrillator.
Tossing the blankets off of the woman into a pile, the captain unzipped and removed the diving suit, placing her unclothed body on the pile of blankets before pressing the defibrillator against her left breast and over the cold mottled skin of her ribs, sending an electric shock through her body that made it buck before coming back down against the blankets. The captain tossed aside the defibrillator, breathing air into the woman’s lungs and pumping her heart again, listening intently for any sign of life in her body.
The captain paused overtop the body, sweat running down her face as she watched it for the barest hint of life. A sob escaped her lips, and she pounded on the woman’s chest with a fist, cursing as she reached for the defibrillator again, unaware of the crowd that had formed around her as she pressed it against the woman’s bare skin and sent electricity through her body, pumping the woman’s heart with the defibrillator as it sent a bolt into her heart.
A cough escaped the woman’s lips, flecks of seawater splattering into the air as her eyelids flickered briefly before shutting again, ragged breaths flowing consistently in and out of her body. The crew cheered, jostling one another at the sight of their comrade returned from death, while the captain slowly bent over the woman and kissed her on the forehead before rising and walking through the crowd to return to the helm of her ship.